I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
