Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
