Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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