She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
