if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
