lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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