do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We need to get me chipped asap
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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