it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
