If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
