I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
