I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
