Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
