So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My life is pants optional.
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