Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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