Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
