I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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