when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
