"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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