Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
