One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The ass gains better be worth it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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