I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We just shotgunned beers for America
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
