I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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