it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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