I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
