Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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