I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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