Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize