he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
