You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We have started to decorate penises.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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