Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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