Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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