I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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