Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
