Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
