therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
there is puke in my bra ... again
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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