Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
