The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
