Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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