Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
