her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
