We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Bring me that man meat
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
