Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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