yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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