we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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