We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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