Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
