garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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