Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
