WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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