So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
