Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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