I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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