these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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