Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
