If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
