I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
