i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
