just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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