my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
