its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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