i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
