Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
