I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
