Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
