We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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