i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
