I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
