I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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