ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
