And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
