Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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