just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
