I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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