im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
