I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
