My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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