True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
