i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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