She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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