Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
